There was a dream - a small, general overview about the blog

The Passion of Creation - Leonid Pasternak

(This article is an English version of the previous, French one.) 

  It's been over a year since there's been an article on this blog. I'm the first to be sorry about that, because these are projects that are close to my heart, I love this world and I love talking about it. Unfortunately, I've had a string of setbacks and creative lows. So this article is a way to give you some news, show that I'm still here, talk about a little bit of everything and anything, and talk about imagination, because that's what this blog is all about after all, even if I'm going to stray quite a bit from Warhammer in the process. 

To sum up, as I mentioned in a previous article, whenever I write for this blog, whether it's an article or a homebrew for Warhammer, I try to do so in both French, my native language, and English, so that I can reach the broadest possible audience. This takes time, because while I read English perfectly, I am not a translator and I regularly find myself juggling between online translators and my own knowledge to try to render the text as well as possible, which is not always perfect, by any means. I'm not a good writer to begin with, so switching to a language that isn't my own without having the skills of a translator is a challenge. 

I've also tried to offer homebrews for the 2nd edition of WFRP, because that's the one I started with, but also for the 4th edition, because that's the current one. If I wanted to push it, I would have to offer something for the third edition, and for the most recent, The Old World, another role-playing game set in the same universe but 300 years before the other editions in the chronology. 

 With multiple hobbies and a job that can sometimes be mentally exhausting, I often find myself saying, “later”... only to be unable, once I'm sitting in front of the page (or screen), to write (or type) what's on my mind. I understand writer's block all too well: my head is full of ideas that refuse to come out. The desire to do something big, too big, and to buckle under the weight of the task.

Add to that technical problems that are starting to become very troublesome: I was working on a PC from the early 2010s, which was starting to show serious signs of aging, and with which my files were becoming difficult to use. I had to switch to a newer PC, albeit one that was already a few years old, which was more powerful, and my files finally worked better on it. That was last year... when I started to experience this inability to write. And now, ironically, this second PC has decided to give up before the first one did. It is barely usable now, and not just for writing or using image editing softwares. So I decided to replace it and... time has taken its toll, the software I was using no longer works on Windows 11.

I must admit, I panicked for a moment. Losing everything I had done, all my files. It was partly my fault, let's face it: I didn't have to use InDesign for my layout. But it was a solution that suited me, one I had learned to work with. Mainly because, from my point of view, the object was as important as the content: a layout similar to WFRP 2nd edition, allowing me to dream of what an official edition might have been like. That was the primary objective: a dream of what might have been. Fortunately, I was able to recover my files and convert them to a modern format. I may have forgotten one or two, but... never mind. I think I saved most of them. People will tell me that there are converters, or that InDesign still exists, and I will say, of course! But the costs are also very real, and Adobe's pricing policy doesn't suit me because I'm not a professional and my occasional use of InDesign or Photoshop wouldn't justify what I consider to be an excessive expense for an amateur.

As a result, I can no longer make maps as I did before, however imperfect they may be. I can no longer work on my files, even though they still exist. I can, of course, use a simple word processor, but I can no longer offer the same things I did before, and that really bothers me. So I'm going to look for alternatives, which I know exist. Again, I'm imposing restrictions on myself that I could easily do without, but everyone approaches their creative process in their own way, and in this case, mine is being disrupted, which is a bit depressing. Especially since the first alternative I found won't work: my log files are simply too large and cause the tool to shut down after 10 seconds. What's more, they would require a lot of reworking, as switching from one software program to another is clearly not without consequences. 

So here we are at this moment: a desire to resume the creative process after months of dieting during which nothing came to fruition, compounded by significant professional fatigue that prevented me from actively engaging in creation, a desire now thwarted by technical problems for which solutions exist but for which I must think and adapt. 

And that's a shame, because I have so many projects I'd like to be able to submit. Some of them could be, in fact, but my disappointment at not being able to do so in a form that satisfies me is weighing on the process. Anyway. To put it simply, here are the projects I have in progress that I'd like to see continue and be completed one day: 

• Perilous Sands, which in itself is finished, from my point of view, apart from corrections. The project is already substantial enough and represents what I imagined, the dream mentioned above: a version of Araby for WFRP based on everything GW has released about this region in official sources, with a few references to well-known homebrew.
• A series of articles on lesser Chaos gods from official sources. Several are on this blog, others are in various stages of completion.
• Translations/conversions of old French scenarios for WFRP involving Araby or other distant lands. Several are available on this blog. There are still one or two that I would like to submit.
•  Articles about Araby itself, as I have already suggested. Discussing sources, comparing them, explaining how they can inspire. This is a subject I enjoy because it allows me to show that, contrary to what people often think of GW's Araby, it is much less caricatural or “sensitive” than is commonly believed.
• An article on the problem and concept of Orientalism, a concept that has been widely misused for several decades and which stems from a genuine cultural misunderstanding mixed with ideological quarrels. The subject is fascinating, but it's a rabbit hole with significant ramifications that touch on political and ideological issues that require delving into complexities that, frankly, tire me just thinking about them. A pity, but I'll keep it in mind, as I consider the subject important because it is at the heart of many reactions whenever Araby for Warhammer is mentioned.

• 

  Between Rock and Water

  Between Rock and Water, the article for the Ratter, which is a sort of remake of a very old project I had, namely a homebrew WFRP for Lustria. The official release of the Lustria supplement for WFRP 4e was an opportunity to revisit old ideas and focus on reviving the Slanns, the first ones, before the Lizardmen took over, and on how to reintroduce them into modern Warhammer. I still hope to be able to offer it in my usual format one day, with rules for WFRP2 and WFRP4 this time, with a possible expansion to include the Amazons. And, much more uncertainly, the Pygmies, although the subject is even more problematic for many people than Araby. But after all, isn't that the principle, to try to reintroduce very old elements by modernizing them without betraying them? That's what I always strive to do, and it would be an interesting challenge. And after all, why do you think I asked Kro for a modernized version of that old Warhammer illustration as the main logo?
•  A supplement on Albion, which would combine all periods of lore. An ambitious project, similar to Perilous Sands, and one on which I have stalled considerably. In concrete terms, to compare its progress with the Sands, the chapters on the region and its inhabitants, and character creation are almost completely finished, the chapters on religion and politics are well advanced, and various sections of other chapters have been started. And I know I impose too many constraints on myself, instead of letting my imagination run wild.
• A companion to Perilous Sands, which would expand Araby on elements already mentioned, such as organizations (think Shades of Empire for WFRP2), a complete list of magical items including all those ever mentioned in all the sources I have (only some of which appear in the Sands), new character creation options, a supplement to the Journey to Araby chapter to venture beyond the continent itself and introduce other kingdoms and cities, not necessarily from official sources (those appearing in the old French scenario about Ind, for example). A companion, then, offering nothing essential, but exploring a little further, a little less officially.

• 

  Map for Albion 
  homebrew

  Maps? Yes, maps, I like them, but as things stand, I can't make any more. Or rather, I need to find other habits to get back into it. At one point, I wanted to make a map of Estalia, but an official one came out for The Old World, and I wouldn't have it quite like that, but anyway, it exists. So things are getting complicated, because there are few places left where ancient or very secondary sources could be used to enrich the more general maps of the Warhammer world. 
• Two other projects that are little more than rough drafts, which I mention for the sake of completeness but which require no further development, apart from the fact that they would involve exploring other obscure corners of Warhammer. And when I say draft, we're talking more like twenty pages, whereas some of the projects mentioned below and not published here are more like 50-60 pages, enough to be proposed but not for me (yes, no laughing, Mr. Lenhardt, you're just like me, your projects of a few dozen pages easily reach hundreds).

That's basically where I'm at. My head is full of ideas, but I'm having trouble putting them down on paper. But I'll get there, with a little time and patience. Of course, there are questions of time, feasibility, and obviously the limits I need to set for myself. Continue with WFRP2? Absolutely, it's my favorite edition and I'm attached to it. WFRP4? That would be nice, if only to reach a more current audience. The Old World? It's starting to get complicated for me, as I tend to scatter my efforts. So what to do? I'm working on it, slowly, getting back on track. I have a few ideas. They are still fueled by websites, forums, and blogs that I enjoy but struggle to participate in due to lack of time, such as Awesome Lies, Kalevala Hammer, La Bibliothèque Impériale, Warforum JDR, Warhammer Forum, Le Verrah Rubicon, all of which have contributed much more than I have in recent years to sharing the Warhammer universe. On that note, I would like to thank the people who have taken the time over the years to discuss the universe and contact me, such as Jackdays from Kalevala Hammer, Dreadaxe, DroidScotty, Lemann, Joajackson, Dry Erase, and others. 

A card for a Hero for 
Saint Seiya Deckbuilding

A card for a Hero
for Marvel Champions

In the meantime, and speaking of scattered focus, I'm trying to exercise my creativity on other projects that are less demanding in terms of writing, but they're not progressing much either. I had already mentioned homebrew for Marvel Champions and Saint Seiya deckbuilding, and in both cases I'm at a standstill, again for technical reasons on the one hand, and in the case of Marvel Champions, not because I'm tired of the game (my wallet would disagree), but because of a lack of feedback, which is a bit depressing. In my efforts to do things that are little known, I inevitably encounter indifference, and that's unfortunate! But I continue to think about it regularly. And to return to my files. In general, these various projects have also been greatly slowed down by the almost complete creative void I experienced for several months. And getting back to work is never easy. In the case of Saint Seiya, the significant gap between the release of the second and third expansions also played a big part, because I always based my homebrews on successive releases, wanting to develop the playable characters as they did in the official game from expansion to expansion. And when the box was finally available, I was working on completely different things and had no opportunity to test this new expansion. It took months before I could do so, and now that it's done... you guessed it, technical problems. In short, it's all the more unfortunate because the original artwork, created by Cerberus Rack and commissioned especially for this project, has been ready for a long time! Beyond that, there's also the issue of printing because, as with everything else, the object itself is important to me. Its visual and tactile credibility in relation to the original material. Its suitability. Another unnecessary constraint that I impose on myself, but it is what it is. And the tightening of copyright policies among printers is frustrating because it prevents me from reaching the final stage of my usual creative process. 

Un project of Hero for
Power Rangers - Heroes
of  the Grid, artwork 
by Sendalman

Power Rangers 100 
- Boom! Studios

These aren't the only creative projects on my mind. Have I already mentioned scattered focus? No? Ah, I thought so. I'm an avid consumer of board games, but also of diverse and varied universes, whether in the form of novels, comic books, comics, or manga. My first instinct, and I mean that quite literally, when I come across a board game in a universe I enjoy is usually: “How can I add this obscure thing that nobody else cares about but that I want to play?” Above, you have an example for US comics and one for Japanese manga. So the trilogy is missing the French element. That's where a universe that I like despite all its kitschiness comes in, but especially in its comic book version: Power Rangers. Yes, I still have memories of Bioman and Jetman or even DanCougar on French television screens, and having been a big toy user as a kid, I inevitably had a few Power Rangers toys. So when a really cool comic book series comes out, and a really cool board game comes out too... my first instinct is OBVIOUSLY to want to add the France Five to it. Fair enough.

 

Un project of Hero for
Power Rangers - Heroes
of  the Grid, artwork 
by  Maxarkes

 The publisher, Renegade Games, has also announced the end of the game's development, but with the wonderful surprise of including in its latest release a set of templates for creating homebrew, as well as a manual explaining the process of developing characters and cards. It's perfect, it suits me very well, and it will continue to feed my imagination. With a few illustrations commissioned from artists such as Maxarkes (who had already created this magnificent Grootslang for Perilous Sands) and  Sendalman, I am looking forward to it with impatience and excitement. As I said earlier, the object is as important to me as the content. Perhaps I'm wrong to think so, but for me, the idea is an integral part of what makes me love a universe or a game. It feeds my imagination, and I dream only in images, not in blank pages covered with printed characters. But these illustrations come at a cost, of course, and require time from the artists, which is perfectly normal. It's a slow and long dream, but after all, that's how we move forward.  

 

In fact, even though I'm not an artist, Heroes of the Grid has made me want to take up painting again. Nothing extraordinary, but I'm happy to pick up my brushes from time to time. It's been a long time, and I enjoy trying my hand at these miniatures, which are bigger than what I'm used to, and experimenting with different color schemes. It's a good way to prepare for the upcoming release of a game that caught my eye because I like its universe and atmosphere: Blasphemous - the Board Game. Oh yes, I want to paint these miniatures, because I enjoyed the two video games so much that I can't wait to get my hands on the board game. Because yes, I'm also a big video game consumer, generally more for the worlds and atmospheres they offer than for their technical qualities or the challenges they present. Every cloud has a silver lining, as they say, and while my new computer no longer allows me to use my files, it does allow me to dive (ohohoh) into gems like Subnautica and immerse myself (uhuh) in atmospheres that I find fascinating. 

 

Ultimately, I am a consumer of universes, in whatever form they may take. I could ramble on for hours about movies, TV shows, novels, games, and other things, but that would turn this blog into a catch-all, which was not its original purpose. Should I start another blog dedicated to all these other passions? Why not, actually. Friends like Kevin Kiffer do it very well, and certainly better than I could, in addition to actually talking about their projects as authors. It would be a way to write whatever I want to write, without worrying that this blog would lose its purpose, which is to share my take on Warhammer. Because ultimately, when I look back, one of the things that scares me is the fear of writing. Fear of becoming scared? Yes, because I've already written about things other than Warhammer on this blog, but if doing so takes up more space than Warhammer, then it loses its identity, its main purpose, and loses its relevance to the audience it was intended for. The fear of wanting to write prevents me from writing. Quite ironic. AGAIN. 

 

 

Say my name !

TMNT -
IDW Publishing

 But anyway, when one doesn't write, one reads, and there again, I cover quite a wide range. In addition to proofreading (when I have time) the work in progress of friend Florent Lenhardt, whose blog I highly recommend to anyone interested in Germanic legendary material (or the evolution of legends and legendary characters over time), and whose approach to using sources is very similar to mine, I am, of course, reading Star Wars (but the real one, not the... recent one. Yes, I'm bitter, but I'm a child of the 80s, and things were better back then), comics like Marvel Ultimate Universe (yes, because for me, Pete and MJ should never have been separated (yes, I'm old) and this version suits me fine), or TMNT, independents like The Few and Cursed, and role-playing books like Traveller. I took the opportunity to complete manga series that I like but had never read in their entirety, such as Hokuto no Ken (child of the 80s, I tell you), and even go further back and check out Mazinger and Grendizer. 

And to move away a little from the image of the 1980s geek, I still attach great importance to history, as some articles on this blog have shown through my involvement in our historical reenactment association. After ancient geography, I'm tackling another subject that is related in theme, namely the Gallic economy! Here again, I need to get back to writing so that I can share my thoughts on the subject. The work on oneself remains the same. And to feed this appetite, I've been doing some more serious reading over the last few months, some recommended by friends, others chosen on my own initiative, or both: 

 

 

Les Monstres des hommes - 
Éditions Honoré Champion

Mythologie et religion des slaves 
païens - Éditions Les Belles Lettres

  

Expositio Totius Mundi 
Et Gentium - Éditions du Cerf

The Book of Monasteries -
New York University Press

 

 Can we detect any trends? Maybe. In any case, I feed my imagination and my culture with both entertaining and scientific reading, and separating the two seems absurd to me.

In the end, this blog remained silent, not because of a loss of imagination, a lack of inspiration, or a lack of desire, but because of the inability, for various reasons, to make the dream a reality. The dream itself is still alive and well, never fading. To give you an idea, Hero Quest, which I didn't know at the time was part of the Warhammer universe, was released in France in 1989. I had it. And what did I do after finishing the game's scenarios? I was so frustrated that, at the age of 7, I decided to make MY OWN GAME WITH MORE. Cards to draw, a modular game board, standees made from illustrations traced from games (yes, I had Gauntlet on the first Nintendo and I loved the illustrations) and colored in myself... obviously, it didn't go very far. But the dream (and the frustration) was already there, and it never went away. And to give another example that may seem irrelevant but is actually quite relevant, in kindergarten, when I was about 5 years old, I got into a disagreement with another child in the class who, for a puppet show about the French Revolution, had made a square, gray cardboard building with TV antennas on top as a backdrop.  I was so outraged by this lack of connection to the sources that I told him so, and he tore up my own set, a timber-framed house, in retaliation. Frustration and memories still vivid. So, dreaming is easy, but making the dream intelligible to others is much more difficult. And that may be one of the problems: torn between my desire to do things my way and the fear of disappointing, torn between imagination and the need to stay as close as possible to the sources. It's difficult to find the right balance. Because, as I said at the beginning of this article, I am not an author. Nor am I a creator. Just a dreamer. And the discipline, as well as the compromise, that others may conjure up, I rarely manage to channel enough to make them effective in creativity.

If you are still here after this long, largely off-topic monologue, I thank you, and I thank everyone who visits this blog. I can see that this is the case, even though Blogger does not allow me to know much about these visits. There are certainly bots, but I know that's not all, and I'm happy to see that what I have posted is still being read. I'd like to take this opportunity, for once, to ask if you would be willing to share your thoughts on what I've written here. Perhaps on how you would respond to the difficulties mentioned above in terms of creativity or technical problems. What should I focus on? How can I overcome writer's block? What should I explore, and what should I leave aside for now? Have you experienced these kinds of difficulties, and how do you deal with them? It's a vast subject. And not just about Warhammer, by the way, so if you have any thoughts on other things mentioned here, please don't hesitate to share them. I don't respond very often, for various reasons, but I always read everything, even if I often forget to reply... or only see the message years later. And if not on this blog, feel free to do so by other means.

And may the dream continue, despite the pitfalls!